Someone Call the Mechanic, I've Stalled!!!

Yup... I've stalled... Broke down... Constantly pacing and jittery as hell... Once again I think I've taken on too much (flexed my brave muscle a little too hard), and I think I've burnt myself out leading to another era of depression... Yipee...Now I can feel myself starting to withdraw from the world, and everything is getting that much harder to do again...

Thankfully, some things are wrapping up for me, so I can relax a little bit (hopefully), and get back to what I truly enjoy. Creating!! I got turned down from another store, which really didn't help the terrible week I seem to be having (lots of family stuff going on right now).

But, even though I'd much rather just lie here and wallow, I'm standing up again!! I'm taking the weekend off from thinking about money, or making money with all my cool stuff, and just create. For some reason (don't remember why), I didn't sign up for the market this week, so I have an open weekend ahead of me. I can catch up on sleep, relax, sketch, paint, write, and do whatever I want!

You know what this is?! SELF-CARE!!! Once again I've neglected self-care, and didn't say no, even when I probably should of, and everything just piled up on me. So this weekend I'm digging myself out of all the crap I've buried myself in, and just chillaxing. Maybe I'll go Market Shopping for next year? Who knows!! I am for sure living this weekend on a whim.

I'm also thinking of removing shipping charges for my Etsy shop, just to get myself going!! I've started my Facebook page and finally actually invited people to look at it. And speaking of Etsy, I totally just revamped, re-priced, and removed all shipping charges. Just to get me started. I JUST WANT THAT FIRST SALE!!!!!

Ugh... Anyways, I guess I'm not in as huge a slump as I thought, but I have to say I'm incredibly excited to not have anything to do this weekend. I'll probably do a few sketches, and for sure start sewing a larger bag together for etsy. It's not as big as I originally wanted (ran out of yarn and REALLY need that first sale to keep putting in money), but it's still a lot bigger than my purses/clutches. It also has multiple woven strands of different colours as well.

Oh!!! I also figured out how to weave really neat patterns on my loom. ...some of them I don't like, checkers and diamonds... But I think I can really do something cool and this kind of feels like the next step for it.

So, I wouldn't say that life is looking up, per se, but I have experienced some interesting new techniques that I'm pretty excited to try.

Ciao for now!!! Talk soon!!!

Me weaving in a historically correct outfit:)

My loom on display (and my crazy Mom and Aunt touching it when the sign says not too:P)

The Question of Self Care!!

I am EXHAUSTED!!! I know right? She's talking about this again:P Anyways, from listening to my fav podcast, I'm learning about self care. This is something that, until recently, has been an incredibly foreign concept to me...

I mean, I'm VERY familiar with burnout, mental breakdowns, semi-psychotic episodes (as you all probably know by now:P), but self care? When I thought of self care, I thought of someone going to a spa for like a week and getting pampered and sitting poolside in a bikini and it goes on like that.

Who the hell has the time or money for that?! So I just figured, oh well, not achievable, I'll just ignore it, apparently until my mind and body short circuit on me and my head explodes (not literally, but pretty close). Next thing you know I'm in therapy and my meds have been upped. WHEW!!! But that was last summer!!

I completely agree that the pre-conceived notion (as I so carefully laid out above), is totally insane and unachievable for the average bear. BUT!!! What if that wasn't all that there was to self care?!

SAY WHAT?!

I recently re-listened to an episode of Raise Your Hand Say Yes, where the wise and wonderful Tiffany Han interviews Mara Glatzel about self care. Go listen to it and then come back!! I'll wait!!

..........................................................Back yet?? OK GOOD!!!

Isn't that mind blowing?! It's such a simple concept, and yet it never occurred to me before. If I wasn't burning the candle at both ends, or completely burnt out, I wasn't doing it right!! But self care can be something as simple as making time to read a book, or take a bath, or even to close the door of the bathroom when I have to pee (I can only do this when my hubby is home, because I have a dog who is a Houdini re-incarnate and can get into and out of anything and requires pretty much constant supervision).

So recently I've decided to test this out. I finished reading a book (War of Art, seriously, give 'er a read!!) that wasn't assigned reading in I don't know how long, I've taken baths with a candle lit (I'm a bit of a clutz and our house is made of completely wood, so we limit it to 1), and I'm taking my time doing things and actually enjoying them. I'm meditating more, and have even signed up for an online course on Chakra's given by Lacy Young (another person who I've ranted and raved about)!!

This is all in the effort of just feeling more centered, and not constantly feeling strung out and stressed out. These are NOT good for someone without mental illness, never mind for someone who does!

It's also about Inner Peace, which I personally think goes hand in hand with Self Care, because without Self Care how can you ever hope to achieve Inner Peace?

So basically I'm trying a few different things to try and keep my spirits up, my creative juices flowing, and just feel more centered overall!! Because, as I previously mentioned, things have been kinda bust lately.

But like I've said before, I'm stubborn as hell and now that I'm learning how to take care of myself a little bit better (probably going to do a whole post on Chakra's and all that, so stay tuned:P), so I'll keep it on through the slog!!

Hope everyone is having a great week!! Ciao for now!!