Vanish into the Mist... NOT!!

I am still here!! I have not vanished into the misty morning, just, as I mentioned earlier, been very introspective, and I've realized that I have a lot of work to do on that too! Don't worry, I'm not going to go all hippy-dippy on you:P That's not really what this blog is about. But it will probably be mentioned from time to time because it's really inspiring me to do something creative (which has mostly been journaling up to this point).

Anyways!! Creative-wise, I'm still looking for my people and waiting to be discovered... I think I need to be more pushy maybe, but that annoys me SO MUCH when people do it to me I just can't bring myself to do it.

I have big plans for more products, and I FINALLY got a new needle for my sewing machine. Things are just kind of chugging along with the little funds that I have. This REALLY limits what Markets I can apply for, or the promotions that I can do.

Ugh... I hate money... So, my next big move is pretty much to just create as much as I can, and keep an eye on the horizon for other places that I can sell my product! Etsy isn't working out super great either...

So, instead of getting super down on myself I've ended my Farmer's Market year early, and have decided to really work on the basic bones of my business. I've realized (introspection!!) that I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself to make lots of money and stressing about it when I should just be focussing on enjoying my craft...

Something I really plan to work on this long weekend!! And I REALLY need to improve on my online/social media presence. It wasn't going too bad, bbbuuuttt summer has been a lil wild:P

Anyways, look for some awesome stuff from me in the near future!! Ciao for now!!!!

Change...

This is something that the world tells us to do, yet no one allows you to do.

Think on that for a minute...

On that note, I have just completed my Chakra Class. SO AMAZING!!! I'm telling you, go to lacyyoung.com and look at her stuff! She's a miracle worker!! I've never felt better!!!

The terrifying part of this is change. We all work ourselves into a rut, and DAMN is that rut comfy. It's easy to just chill, and change is terrifying all on its own. Then you bring friends and family into it.

Now don't get me wrong, I love both my friends and my family, but it's always the people you love who make it difficult to change. Which makes sense, I mean it's scary to think that you might lose a friend because they are going through all of these changes, and in the end you end up having nothing in common. I've felt this way, and I'm sure others have too, but this is no reason not to try change on!

"Not my circus, not my monkeys." It's easier said then done, ignoring the potentially hurtful things that people say to you when you tell them "I have to meditate today" or something along those lines. BUT!! If you stand tall and stick to your guns (metaphorically speaking of course:P), people will either learn to adjust to the new you and respect you for trying to better your life, or they'll leave. This is the hurtful and terrifying part. Having to let go of a friend you may have had for life, but just isn't liking the new you. If you are loving who you are (and you'd better believe it feels wonderful!!!) then you should let them go. It's doing all of your hard work a dis-service.

I'm still on the verge of climbing out of the rut I've dug myself into, but I can feel little things changing, very slowly. Starting with eating better! I ACTUALLY look at ingredients now, and made myself the deal that if I can't read it, or I don't understand it, back on the shelf you go!!! I've always been a huge fan of stuff made from scratch anyways. Also a HUGE fan of organic food!! ...OK so I may have gone a lil bit hippy... You know what though! I'm totally OK with that! I'm not a vegetarian by any means, but I'm more cognizant of what I'm eating and where it came from.

That said, I'm also REALLY happy!!! Going through all of the Chakra's in my body, I found that almost every one was blocked and affecting my energy flow negatively. I've slowly worked through them and eased out some of the kinks and blocks, but still have a long way to go. But the most important thing is that I'm happy! I saw my life before for what it was, didn't really like it (or myself for that matter), and decided that something had to give.

Change is SUPER hard and SUPER scary, but if it's the right change and it makes you feel like you're floating on sunshine, then just go with it!! You are entitled to feel happy and to do things just for you, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!!

Well, sorry for the looonnnggg absence, but I've been doing a lot of introspection lately and there are really only 24 hours in a day (and I was on vacation IN THE MOUNTAINS!!!! The core of my soul:P). Hopefully I'll be writing more frequently now (I will be, don't worry), and we'll continue on our crazy ride of creativity together!!

Ciao for now!!!

The Question of Self Care!!

I am EXHAUSTED!!! I know right? She's talking about this again:P Anyways, from listening to my fav podcast, I'm learning about self care. This is something that, until recently, has been an incredibly foreign concept to me...

I mean, I'm VERY familiar with burnout, mental breakdowns, semi-psychotic episodes (as you all probably know by now:P), but self care? When I thought of self care, I thought of someone going to a spa for like a week and getting pampered and sitting poolside in a bikini and it goes on like that.

Who the hell has the time or money for that?! So I just figured, oh well, not achievable, I'll just ignore it, apparently until my mind and body short circuit on me and my head explodes (not literally, but pretty close). Next thing you know I'm in therapy and my meds have been upped. WHEW!!! But that was last summer!!

I completely agree that the pre-conceived notion (as I so carefully laid out above), is totally insane and unachievable for the average bear. BUT!!! What if that wasn't all that there was to self care?!

SAY WHAT?!

I recently re-listened to an episode of Raise Your Hand Say Yes, where the wise and wonderful Tiffany Han interviews Mara Glatzel about self care. Go listen to it and then come back!! I'll wait!!

..........................................................Back yet?? OK GOOD!!!

Isn't that mind blowing?! It's such a simple concept, and yet it never occurred to me before. If I wasn't burning the candle at both ends, or completely burnt out, I wasn't doing it right!! But self care can be something as simple as making time to read a book, or take a bath, or even to close the door of the bathroom when I have to pee (I can only do this when my hubby is home, because I have a dog who is a Houdini re-incarnate and can get into and out of anything and requires pretty much constant supervision).

So recently I've decided to test this out. I finished reading a book (War of Art, seriously, give 'er a read!!) that wasn't assigned reading in I don't know how long, I've taken baths with a candle lit (I'm a bit of a clutz and our house is made of completely wood, so we limit it to 1), and I'm taking my time doing things and actually enjoying them. I'm meditating more, and have even signed up for an online course on Chakra's given by Lacy Young (another person who I've ranted and raved about)!!

This is all in the effort of just feeling more centered, and not constantly feeling strung out and stressed out. These are NOT good for someone without mental illness, never mind for someone who does!

It's also about Inner Peace, which I personally think goes hand in hand with Self Care, because without Self Care how can you ever hope to achieve Inner Peace?

So basically I'm trying a few different things to try and keep my spirits up, my creative juices flowing, and just feel more centered overall!! Because, as I previously mentioned, things have been kinda bust lately.

But like I've said before, I'm stubborn as hell and now that I'm learning how to take care of myself a little bit better (probably going to do a whole post on Chakra's and all that, so stay tuned:P), so I'll keep it on through the slog!!

Hope everyone is having a great week!! Ciao for now!!