If you don't like it, CHANGE IT!!

The prime example of this is why I haven't posted on here in a while. I didn't like my job anymore, so I CHANGED IT!!! As a result, I've been very busy during the day, very tired, and have had a hacking cold/cough for almost a month now. 

BUT!! Let this be a shining example!! It applies to the creative world too!! We are so free to do whatever we want, whenever we want to! It's amazing! It's not the Dark Ages anymore, where we have to do what our Father's did, and their Father's before them, etc. etc. We can chose!

I, personally, have multiple diploma's (3 I think:P) and have taken many other types of courses on many types of things. And all of the thing's I there are multiple things that I self-study as well that have caught my fancy. This is probably why I'm having a hard time tacking down my branding... Hmm... Enlightenment!!

Anyways! It seems like all people talk about these days is how unhappy they are. How their life would be better if this or that was different, and in light of this, are hell-bent on making everyone else as miserable as they are! Ugh!! I'm getting unhappy just thinking about it.

But instead of throwing an adult-sized temper-tantrum, why not actually be an adult and look into other options! Don't like your job? Get a new one! Unhappy with where your life is going? Change the direction! CHANGE THE DIRECTION!! Life really is that simple! It's when we get bogged down in all of this worry and trying to "Keep up with the Jones's" as my mother would say. 

It all basically comes down to this new-age idea of simplifying. For example, I live in a 900ish square foot house. This is considered to be ridiculously small by today's standards. It's all about the big house and the nice things. How have I come to see this? More to clean, more to pay, and above all, more worry and less time to do what I want! I'm very happy in my little house. Hell, I would probably be just as happy as joining the Tiny House movement (would TOTALLY be for that). 

So basically do we really need all this crap? NO! It seems to be keeping us from truly enjoying life and cluttering us up. You can't follow your dreams if you have a million dollar mortgage (unless you want to get more into debt, UGH!).

Anyways, got a little off topic there... But anyways, if there's something you want to do, DO IT!! If there's somewhere you want to go, find a way to get there! You are never stuck!! You can always keep moving on any direction you want! Do it!! Let's get all excited and do this!! YEAH!!!

C'iao for now!!

Part of my personal Library (and funky hats!)!!

The More I Learn the Less I Know!!

Do you ever think you may have mastered something, just to find out you had NO CLUE what you were doing?? Happens to me all the time!! I think I'm understanding something and then BAM!!! Out of no where my mind is totally blown again!!

This seems to be especially true in my creative process. Or rather, in trying to plan out my business. I've tried to go back to basics and start from the ground up with branding... BUT I have so many ideas of where it could go, or where I want it to go, or colours, or themes, or... Well everything to be honest! I think I have it figured out, then I look at some old notes, or I get another idea from somewhere and I'm off again!!

Then there's all of the things that you're "supposed to know." I won't lie, I just learned what an SEO campaign was like two days ago, and that's because I googled it... And all the social media stuff!! I don't know about you all, but I get SO BORED on it!! Especially the comparing. I am a Type A to the core, and so if I see something that someone else has done (doesn't even have to be similar) and it looks better then something I've done I subconsciously give up. This is quickly followed by consciously giving up, and convincing myself that I don't like whatever it is I'm doing anymore.

Yup, I'm a balls to the wall, jump in with both feet kinda gal, who's quickly learning that this doesn't pair well with perfectionism. Nope, not at all. I'm learning though!

Last summer was a prime example of that. Was I ready for that Farmer's Market? Hell no!! Did I look like a complete and total amateur next to everyone else there? You bet!! But I showed the hell up every weekend, with my tiny little table and minimal stock. I would sit there and weave on my loom, or sew my stuff. I had two little signs (started with three but I got rid of one) that were obviously home made and looked kinda tacky (I'm working on it:P), a bright flowery tablecloth from Dollarama, and, by the end, two foam heads set up on a tub with some material thrown over it. The colour scheme was a mess, nothing matched, and I found out that I am worse at sales then I thought I was.

But I was there. I did it and I learned a lot. WITHOUT the internet and social media and etsy and all those other stores. SO! I'm doing a personal re-brand (we'll see how this works:P) and getting some professional looking stuff for my table. I haven't given up, but I will for sure be returning a few books to the library. You know why, because while they're interesting, I don't really need them. I've mastered the art of mailchimp, I'm blogging up a storm, I have an Etsy and Facebook page, and in the near(ish) future I plan on opening up a website.

So you know what!! Let's all take some risks here and git 'r done!! We don't need all these fancy courses or books or anything!! Just do the work!!

Well... That's my manifesto for the day...

Now it's time to get to work :P

C'iao for now!!!

Vanish into the Mist... NOT!!

I am still here!! I have not vanished into the misty morning, just, as I mentioned earlier, been very introspective, and I've realized that I have a lot of work to do on that too! Don't worry, I'm not going to go all hippy-dippy on you:P That's not really what this blog is about. But it will probably be mentioned from time to time because it's really inspiring me to do something creative (which has mostly been journaling up to this point).

Anyways!! Creative-wise, I'm still looking for my people and waiting to be discovered... I think I need to be more pushy maybe, but that annoys me SO MUCH when people do it to me I just can't bring myself to do it.

I have big plans for more products, and I FINALLY got a new needle for my sewing machine. Things are just kind of chugging along with the little funds that I have. This REALLY limits what Markets I can apply for, or the promotions that I can do.

Ugh... I hate money... So, my next big move is pretty much to just create as much as I can, and keep an eye on the horizon for other places that I can sell my product! Etsy isn't working out super great either...

So, instead of getting super down on myself I've ended my Farmer's Market year early, and have decided to really work on the basic bones of my business. I've realized (introspection!!) that I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself to make lots of money and stressing about it when I should just be focussing on enjoying my craft...

Something I really plan to work on this long weekend!! And I REALLY need to improve on my online/social media presence. It wasn't going too bad, bbbuuuttt summer has been a lil wild:P

Anyways, look for some awesome stuff from me in the near future!! Ciao for now!!!!

Rejection Sucks Skunk Junk

Now, I have been rejected before. Not often, and my mind tries to save me from being overly vulnerable most of the time, but it still sucks.

 

As a teenager I taught myself a pretty handy trick of "if you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed when nothing happens." I have since learned that this is an INCREDIBLY unhealthy way of dealing with your feelings, and have been really trying to feel them... Which is probably why this stings so horribly now.

 

I'll back up a little bit here, and tell you that one of the stores who said that they might want to display my work turned me down... It was one I was kinda excited about since it's in a pretty big hotspot where I live, and my stuff would have fit in GREAT!! But... Apparently someone they are already displaying has similar products to mine... Ugh...

So yeah, went through a pretty BIG low... Where I pretty much just went home, snuggled up with my fur babies (Annie turned 2 yesterday!!!), and cried on the phone with my Mom... All while watching the movie "Bridesmaids." HILARIOUS by the way, if you haven't seen it yet!

Anyways, I wallowed for a while, licked my wounds, and then did something positive. I SET UP MY ETSY SHOP!!!! That's right!!! I'm now open for business!!! Super exciting!!! Oh, and I sent out some more pitches to a couple other boutiques around that sometimes carry artisans work.

On a whole, I think I managed to turn the day around. So, when you're in a low (unless it's a SERIOUS low where you should seek medical attention; END THE STIGMA), be sad, be mad, be upset, lick your wounds, but then STAND BACK UP!! Be like one of those Weeble Wobble toys where no matter how many hits they take, they just stand right back up again.

Only YOU can truly knock yourself down. So on that note, keep on creating and keep on fighting!! You totally got this!!

Ciao for now!!

 

Leica, jealous of her little sister

Annie, the Birthday Girl!!!

Photoshoot!!

Goood morning everyone!!

 

As I slowly make my way to work via a slowly rolling bus that was 4 minutes late when it picked me up, I have already come to terms with the fact that I'll probably be late for work today:P Oh well!!! Then I realized that it's been quite a while since I've written a blog post, and that's just not ok!!

So, I'll start with what I finally managed to work up the courage to do last night, and since you're all wonderfully smart people who read my title for today's post, you can more than likely guess what that is. I finally got the guts to stop stalling, gather up all my works, and just take some freaking pictures already!!

 

I do, unfortunately, live in a city, but in a super old part with lots of trees, and my back yard is completely river rock (it's a dog issue, don't ask:P). So when I finally decided to take pictures myself, with my lil camera phone, I found plenty of places to snap a few shots! I even made an appearance in a couple of them:P But it was insanely bright out so I had my sunglasses on:P

 

The point is, even though I am by NO means a professional, or even semi-professional photographer (I don't even own an actual camera!), I went out there and got shit done!! Instead of stalling and waiting for my pal who IS a semi-pro photographer to be available, and then waiting for us both to be available at the same time (we're both insanely busy) I just went out and did it!

 

You know how much it cost me? NOTHING!!! I just took some, in my opinion, half decent pics that just need a lil bit of editing, for absolutely free. I just arranged my products in a way I thought looked kinda cool and artsy fartsy, and went for it!!

 

And, after some minimal editing, I will be sending these pics off to two stores (possibly more, I keep finding them) who I just reached out to. That's right, they didn't find me, I found them. I'm starting to realize that nothing happens in life without you first asking a question, and forcing your way in:P

 

That's right!! I'm breaking and entering my way into the art scene!! Who's with me?!?!

You Only Fail If You Don't Try

Right?? That's what the saying is?? Because this is sucking pretty hardcore... Like really... Another day at the market and all I have to show for it is a peeling sunburn....

 

But it's not failure because I'm still trying!! So, I haven't really been talking about my Farmer's Market excursions since I started... That's because so far the only thing anyone's bought from me is a couple of sketches... And that was my Mom.... So not going too well...

This has caused me to do some looking inside and hard thinking. This is what I've come up with!

 

1) I have chosen the wrong market! The market that I chose is INCREDIBLY rural, with the

most popular booths being baking and knitting, and other things like that (and Norwex, everybody LOVES Norwex:P). They are simply not interested in more artsy things like hand-woven goods and sketches (that one may be on me, still learning on that front:P).

 

2) I may not do a Farmer's Market again next year. It just doesn't seem to be my thing. I will probably do the odd craft show (hoping for the bigger ones), but I find events like that every weekend to be incredibly draining...

 

3) I think I'm going to see how it goes over the net for the next couple months. A friend of mine has agreed to do my photography for my Etsy site, so I think I'll just chill on that for a while and see how I do for the summer.

 

4) A lot of people seem to be really interested in what I have to sell, but no one is sealing the deal, so maybe I'm just not a good salesperson in person. Maybe I should stick to the internet approach of doing things.

 

Anyways!! The point is I'm not giving up!! I've been told that it would be uncomfortable, and really hard in the beginning, and all I would do was work (which I pretty much do). Of course, for some reason I didn't imagine it being this hard (I see a lot of people on a facebook page I'm on doing things very successfully), but I firmly believe that there is no such thing as an overnight success. I just need to work harder!!

 

I'm thinking of making little bracelets for kids at the market (out of my first go on my Inkle Loom, so I'm not really giving away any prized merch), and then maybe sending out samples to some stores I know display made in Manitoba talent. I was just listening to my fav podcast this morning (you all know the one I'm talkin bout!!), and the guest said something that really resonated with me. I think it was Emily Mcdowell that was being interviewed, and she said that if someone's already doing something, she won't do it. It's not worth her time and she wants to stay innovative.

 

I've listened to this episode probably 100 times now, but it never really struck home until now. No-one else is really doing what I'm doing, so I just need to give it some time and get the hell to work!! With any luck someday (not any time in the near future but oh well) I'll be working from home and doing this for a living.

 

But for now, I must get back to my 9-5, because my "Lunch" half hour is ending (working a late shift today:P).

 

Have a good one!!!

 

The Question of Self Care!!

I am EXHAUSTED!!! I know right? She's talking about this again:P Anyways, from listening to my fav podcast, I'm learning about self care. This is something that, until recently, has been an incredibly foreign concept to me...

I mean, I'm VERY familiar with burnout, mental breakdowns, semi-psychotic episodes (as you all probably know by now:P), but self care? When I thought of self care, I thought of someone going to a spa for like a week and getting pampered and sitting poolside in a bikini and it goes on like that.

Who the hell has the time or money for that?! So I just figured, oh well, not achievable, I'll just ignore it, apparently until my mind and body short circuit on me and my head explodes (not literally, but pretty close). Next thing you know I'm in therapy and my meds have been upped. WHEW!!! But that was last summer!!

I completely agree that the pre-conceived notion (as I so carefully laid out above), is totally insane and unachievable for the average bear. BUT!!! What if that wasn't all that there was to self care?!

SAY WHAT?!

I recently re-listened to an episode of Raise Your Hand Say Yes, where the wise and wonderful Tiffany Han interviews Mara Glatzel about self care. Go listen to it and then come back!! I'll wait!!

..........................................................Back yet?? OK GOOD!!!

Isn't that mind blowing?! It's such a simple concept, and yet it never occurred to me before. If I wasn't burning the candle at both ends, or completely burnt out, I wasn't doing it right!! But self care can be something as simple as making time to read a book, or take a bath, or even to close the door of the bathroom when I have to pee (I can only do this when my hubby is home, because I have a dog who is a Houdini re-incarnate and can get into and out of anything and requires pretty much constant supervision).

So recently I've decided to test this out. I finished reading a book (War of Art, seriously, give 'er a read!!) that wasn't assigned reading in I don't know how long, I've taken baths with a candle lit (I'm a bit of a clutz and our house is made of completely wood, so we limit it to 1), and I'm taking my time doing things and actually enjoying them. I'm meditating more, and have even signed up for an online course on Chakra's given by Lacy Young (another person who I've ranted and raved about)!!

This is all in the effort of just feeling more centered, and not constantly feeling strung out and stressed out. These are NOT good for someone without mental illness, never mind for someone who does!

It's also about Inner Peace, which I personally think goes hand in hand with Self Care, because without Self Care how can you ever hope to achieve Inner Peace?

So basically I'm trying a few different things to try and keep my spirits up, my creative juices flowing, and just feel more centered overall!! Because, as I previously mentioned, things have been kinda bust lately.

But like I've said before, I'm stubborn as hell and now that I'm learning how to take care of myself a little bit better (probably going to do a whole post on Chakra's and all that, so stay tuned:P), so I'll keep it on through the slog!!

Hope everyone is having a great week!! Ciao for now!!

Taking Life by the Horns!

Have you ever experienced a soul crushing boredom? Like you feel like your life is on hold for one reason or another, and all you do is the exact same thing every day?

Yeah... This is completely me right now. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, and creativity is definitely an outlet for me, but I can't help but notice that all of my sketches lately have been about wandering off and having an adventure.

As a kid I was an avid reader of JRR Tolkien. I mean AVID!! I read The Hobbit and The LOTR so many times I lost count (it's WELL over 10). When I was a kid I didn't see why I enjoyed them, as I could have adventures every day. I could go out my door and disappear (I grew up on a LARGE farm). I had, relatively speaking, no responsibilities.

Now, as an adult, I look back on those books and seem to be waiting for my hoard of dwarves to come banging at my door, or for one of my crazy Uncle's to give me a ring that would require a llooonnnggg journey far away from here... Just waiting... Waiting... Like a caged bird... Waiting...

Well you know what?! I'M TIRED OF WAITING!!!! WAITING IS FOR THE WEAK AND I'M DONE!!! So you know what?!? This is a public statement to the internet!!! I'M NOT WAITING ANYMORE!!! I'm getting a business license for my little adventure at the farmers market!! I'm looking into winter Farmer's Markets!!! AND!!! I'M MAKING AN ETSY SHOP!!! That's right!!! AND I'M MAKING A WEBSITE!!! Not just mooching off google anymore, but my own legit website!!

I started listening (because I can't read a book at work I listen to them) to "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks, and he talks about the upper limit (look into it, it's a thing!). Well I've been upper-limiting the crap out of myself and I'm DONE!!! And not only in my business life, but in my personal life too!!

I'm KonMari-ing the hell out of my house this weekend (even though I'm already insanely busy) and getting all my crap from my in-laws house and I'm putting it in my room at home and organizing it and probably donating most of it, because man, do I have a LOT of crap!! And I'm GOING TO BE AN ADVENTURE GUIDE!!!!! If I can't do it in the mountains, then BY GOD I'm going to do it in Manitoba, the province where dreams go to die (mine do anyways).

My hubby is an outdoorsman (he's been there, done that, done pretty much everything I'm now interested in), BUT he hurt his shoulder and can't do much right now. Like much at all. And he's worried that I'll get hurt if I go out to the Canadian Shield and go on a DAY HIKE!! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT!!!! I WANT THIS!!! So I'll even start smaller!! I'll walk down the freaking boring-ass trails at Birds Hill Park!! Can't get much safer than that!! It's pretty much freaking paved!!!!

So I'll start with that!! Then when I prove that I won't trip over my own feet and fall to my untimely death (but what a way to go right?!?), I'll move up to something else equally boring and safe, and I'll keep on going until I've proven myself to the rest of the freaking world, I'm going to go on the whole crap-in-the-bush overnighter because that's what I want!! And I do what I want when I want. GRR!!!

...sorry about that... But really, what I was getting at was basically life is short! Do what you want! If you can't jump in head first right off the high-dive, then maybe try wading in. This burns me to the very core, because it's not my way, but you know what, if it's what you truly want, why not give it a try. Why not do the dinky ass little trails and work your way up to the awesome, climb a mountain in the middle of no-where is that actually a trail or just a part in the trees trail!!

Whatever it is, get uncomfortable!! Get to it!!