Money for Money

Good morning!!! Or afternoon depending on when I actually am able to finish this post.

So lately I've been meditating a lot and working on self-improvement, chakra work, and all that fun stuff. Through all this I've found out that there's one thing that seems to be worrying me and holding me back. The big M word. MONEY!!!

I REALLY didn't realize how much money you have to fork out to actually make money in a small business. Ugh... I mean, I grew up on a farm, so I've always had a sense of it, but DAMN!! I've got my eye on 4 smallish craft sales in the near future and just to apply for them will cost me over $100 dollars... And I still need to get some sort of professional banner made.

So you know what?! I'm on a business hiatus for the winter!! I've found that I'm putting WAY too much pressure on myself to make money in this that I'm not even enjoying it any more. I mean I'll leave up my etsy shop and facebook page, but I'm really feeling that I need to make more products (like actually have a full table) before I do anymore shows or anything. I think I have a Farmer's Market all planned for next summer (less rural), so I may set my sights on that for the future and just save my money to buy more yarn (and maybe even local yarn) and work on my photography skills before I go all out again.

And I WILL go all out again!! I firmly do believe in jumping in with both feet, but I do think that I need to do a little more work before I jump in again. And get a more professional set-up. And I need to work on my sales pitch a lil bit...

BUT!!! I do still firmly believe in jumping in before you feel ready, because let's be honest, who's ever ACTUALLY ready. I've just realized that there's a lot of work to do in the meantime.

So, in the great words of Tiffany Han, DO THE WORK and then JUST SAY YES!!!

Ciao for now!!

Putting the Self in Care!!

Another weekend has come and gone, and I've been a little bit productive, but mostly I'm self-caring it up!! Only doing things that I really enjoy:)

Like sleeping! I am a chronic insomniac. Have you ever seen that meme where it says, "You're damn right I'm good in bed, I could sleep for days!!" Yeah, that's my dream. I go for quantity over quality. Which is why I go to bed at a time that some people would think is obscenely early, and can still sleep in like a teenager (NOT a teenager:P).

Anyways, I pretty much slept Saturday away and it was GLORIOUS!!! I think I fiddled around with my Etsy shop, Facebook, etc. but didn't really do anything too momentous (other than REMOVING ALL SHIPPING PRICES ON ETSY!!!!). AMAZING!!! 

Today though, today I got shit done!! ...well kinda... I was up and at 'em early early (like, 10:45am early), and checking out city markets. I have come to a conclusion... Other than one of the consignment stores I cold-called lied when they said that they had similar products to mine in their store, I discovered that a Manitoba Farmer's Market is a Manitoba Farmer's Market... It's all pretty much the same thing... But, if I do decide to dive into the madness again, I really need to rethink and revamp my set up.

First off, a tent would be WONDERFUL!!! It seems to add a level of professionalism, and shade. Never forget the shade. My burns from a month ago are still unhappy with me... Not to mention a bigger table!! I've got lotsa stuff, and my repertoire is growing all the time, so a bigger table is a must! I'm probably also going to need some sort of actual display to make things look pretty and yeah... But for that I'll need a bigger table... Hmm...

Anyways!!! After that I wandered around for a lil bit, then went on my way to buy some dog food and run some errands. Since I was home by noon, I had plenty of time to FINALLY finish off my mirror (forgot to mention that I bought more paint the day before). It matches everything and I'm SO EXCITED!!!! My room is becoming very zen and totally my space. It's amazing!!  Now I need to hang it up... THEN I move on to my closet/wardrobe thingy. Right now it's a plain woodgrain, but it needs some zazzing up!! I'm thinking.... Blue? Hahahaha :P I am for sure thinking of keeping the walls yellow, but less of a bile-ish yellow, and more of a happy sunny yellow.

So, the point of this post? Instead of doing anything "on the clock", I just chilled out and took things at my own pace. This is my favourite pace. Nice and relaxing, but still pretty productive. I have to go and retrieve my loom from MLHS to keep up my weaving, not too mention FINALLY sew my bag together... But this weekend none of that mattered. I did what I wanted, and planned out what I wanted. Not to mention spent some quality time with the hubby and the puppies.

Yup, every once in a while you have to slow down, chill out, and let all the stress of the last couple weeks just kinda melt off and remember that life is good!! Time to live it!!!

Have a good one!! Talk soon y'all!! Live it up!!

Someone Call the Mechanic, I've Stalled!!!

Yup... I've stalled... Broke down... Constantly pacing and jittery as hell... Once again I think I've taken on too much (flexed my brave muscle a little too hard), and I think I've burnt myself out leading to another era of depression... Yipee...Now I can feel myself starting to withdraw from the world, and everything is getting that much harder to do again...

Thankfully, some things are wrapping up for me, so I can relax a little bit (hopefully), and get back to what I truly enjoy. Creating!! I got turned down from another store, which really didn't help the terrible week I seem to be having (lots of family stuff going on right now).

But, even though I'd much rather just lie here and wallow, I'm standing up again!! I'm taking the weekend off from thinking about money, or making money with all my cool stuff, and just create. For some reason (don't remember why), I didn't sign up for the market this week, so I have an open weekend ahead of me. I can catch up on sleep, relax, sketch, paint, write, and do whatever I want!

You know what this is?! SELF-CARE!!! Once again I've neglected self-care, and didn't say no, even when I probably should of, and everything just piled up on me. So this weekend I'm digging myself out of all the crap I've buried myself in, and just chillaxing. Maybe I'll go Market Shopping for next year? Who knows!! I am for sure living this weekend on a whim.

I'm also thinking of removing shipping charges for my Etsy shop, just to get myself going!! I've started my Facebook page and finally actually invited people to look at it. And speaking of Etsy, I totally just revamped, re-priced, and removed all shipping charges. Just to get me started. I JUST WANT THAT FIRST SALE!!!!!

Ugh... Anyways, I guess I'm not in as huge a slump as I thought, but I have to say I'm incredibly excited to not have anything to do this weekend. I'll probably do a few sketches, and for sure start sewing a larger bag together for etsy. It's not as big as I originally wanted (ran out of yarn and REALLY need that first sale to keep putting in money), but it's still a lot bigger than my purses/clutches. It also has multiple woven strands of different colours as well.

Oh!!! I also figured out how to weave really neat patterns on my loom. ...some of them I don't like, checkers and diamonds... But I think I can really do something cool and this kind of feels like the next step for it.

So, I wouldn't say that life is looking up, per se, but I have experienced some interesting new techniques that I'm pretty excited to try.

Ciao for now!!! Talk soon!!!

Me weaving in a historically correct outfit:)

My loom on display (and my crazy Mom and Aunt touching it when the sign says not too:P)

Rejection Sucks Skunk Junk

Now, I have been rejected before. Not often, and my mind tries to save me from being overly vulnerable most of the time, but it still sucks.

 

As a teenager I taught myself a pretty handy trick of "if you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed when nothing happens." I have since learned that this is an INCREDIBLY unhealthy way of dealing with your feelings, and have been really trying to feel them... Which is probably why this stings so horribly now.

 

I'll back up a little bit here, and tell you that one of the stores who said that they might want to display my work turned me down... It was one I was kinda excited about since it's in a pretty big hotspot where I live, and my stuff would have fit in GREAT!! But... Apparently someone they are already displaying has similar products to mine... Ugh...

So yeah, went through a pretty BIG low... Where I pretty much just went home, snuggled up with my fur babies (Annie turned 2 yesterday!!!), and cried on the phone with my Mom... All while watching the movie "Bridesmaids." HILARIOUS by the way, if you haven't seen it yet!

Anyways, I wallowed for a while, licked my wounds, and then did something positive. I SET UP MY ETSY SHOP!!!! That's right!!! I'm now open for business!!! Super exciting!!! Oh, and I sent out some more pitches to a couple other boutiques around that sometimes carry artisans work.

On a whole, I think I managed to turn the day around. So, when you're in a low (unless it's a SERIOUS low where you should seek medical attention; END THE STIGMA), be sad, be mad, be upset, lick your wounds, but then STAND BACK UP!! Be like one of those Weeble Wobble toys where no matter how many hits they take, they just stand right back up again.

Only YOU can truly knock yourself down. So on that note, keep on creating and keep on fighting!! You totally got this!!

Ciao for now!!

 

Leica, jealous of her little sister

Annie, the Birthday Girl!!!

Photoshoot!!

Goood morning everyone!!

 

As I slowly make my way to work via a slowly rolling bus that was 4 minutes late when it picked me up, I have already come to terms with the fact that I'll probably be late for work today:P Oh well!!! Then I realized that it's been quite a while since I've written a blog post, and that's just not ok!!

So, I'll start with what I finally managed to work up the courage to do last night, and since you're all wonderfully smart people who read my title for today's post, you can more than likely guess what that is. I finally got the guts to stop stalling, gather up all my works, and just take some freaking pictures already!!

 

I do, unfortunately, live in a city, but in a super old part with lots of trees, and my back yard is completely river rock (it's a dog issue, don't ask:P). So when I finally decided to take pictures myself, with my lil camera phone, I found plenty of places to snap a few shots! I even made an appearance in a couple of them:P But it was insanely bright out so I had my sunglasses on:P

 

The point is, even though I am by NO means a professional, or even semi-professional photographer (I don't even own an actual camera!), I went out there and got shit done!! Instead of stalling and waiting for my pal who IS a semi-pro photographer to be available, and then waiting for us both to be available at the same time (we're both insanely busy) I just went out and did it!

 

You know how much it cost me? NOTHING!!! I just took some, in my opinion, half decent pics that just need a lil bit of editing, for absolutely free. I just arranged my products in a way I thought looked kinda cool and artsy fartsy, and went for it!!

 

And, after some minimal editing, I will be sending these pics off to two stores (possibly more, I keep finding them) who I just reached out to. That's right, they didn't find me, I found them. I'm starting to realize that nothing happens in life without you first asking a question, and forcing your way in:P

 

That's right!! I'm breaking and entering my way into the art scene!! Who's with me?!?!

You Only Fail If You Don't Try

Right?? That's what the saying is?? Because this is sucking pretty hardcore... Like really... Another day at the market and all I have to show for it is a peeling sunburn....

 

But it's not failure because I'm still trying!! So, I haven't really been talking about my Farmer's Market excursions since I started... That's because so far the only thing anyone's bought from me is a couple of sketches... And that was my Mom.... So not going too well...

This has caused me to do some looking inside and hard thinking. This is what I've come up with!

 

1) I have chosen the wrong market! The market that I chose is INCREDIBLY rural, with the

most popular booths being baking and knitting, and other things like that (and Norwex, everybody LOVES Norwex:P). They are simply not interested in more artsy things like hand-woven goods and sketches (that one may be on me, still learning on that front:P).

 

2) I may not do a Farmer's Market again next year. It just doesn't seem to be my thing. I will probably do the odd craft show (hoping for the bigger ones), but I find events like that every weekend to be incredibly draining...

 

3) I think I'm going to see how it goes over the net for the next couple months. A friend of mine has agreed to do my photography for my Etsy site, so I think I'll just chill on that for a while and see how I do for the summer.

 

4) A lot of people seem to be really interested in what I have to sell, but no one is sealing the deal, so maybe I'm just not a good salesperson in person. Maybe I should stick to the internet approach of doing things.

 

Anyways!! The point is I'm not giving up!! I've been told that it would be uncomfortable, and really hard in the beginning, and all I would do was work (which I pretty much do). Of course, for some reason I didn't imagine it being this hard (I see a lot of people on a facebook page I'm on doing things very successfully), but I firmly believe that there is no such thing as an overnight success. I just need to work harder!!

 

I'm thinking of making little bracelets for kids at the market (out of my first go on my Inkle Loom, so I'm not really giving away any prized merch), and then maybe sending out samples to some stores I know display made in Manitoba talent. I was just listening to my fav podcast this morning (you all know the one I'm talkin bout!!), and the guest said something that really resonated with me. I think it was Emily Mcdowell that was being interviewed, and she said that if someone's already doing something, she won't do it. It's not worth her time and she wants to stay innovative.

 

I've listened to this episode probably 100 times now, but it never really struck home until now. No-one else is really doing what I'm doing, so I just need to give it some time and get the hell to work!! With any luck someday (not any time in the near future but oh well) I'll be working from home and doing this for a living.

 

But for now, I must get back to my 9-5, because my "Lunch" half hour is ending (working a late shift today:P).

 

Have a good one!!!

 

Rethinking and Refocusing!

So! I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, chronic anxiety, and OCD... Not a new thing for me, but if I'm not constantly aware of it, it kind of takes on a life of it's own. It starts to control me! This is not even an over-exaggeration.

Depression makes me want to recede into myself. Anxiety makes me... Well anxious about everything and anything. Oh the anxiety, but we'll touch more on that later. And the OCD makes me want to put everything just so, and if it can't be just so then whatever, it can't be worth it.

All of these little wonders have been giving me chronic tension headaches like I haven't had in YEARS!! On the one hand, I guess it's a good thing because I'm getting out there and trying new things. On the other hand though, they are INCREDIBLY painful (bordering on migraine) and are really not helping me to grow and evolve as a person and as a multi-potentialite. So what the heck!?!

I think this is my body's way of telling my to SLOW DOWN!!!!! Not physically, I'm not really running myself physically ragged (quite the opposite:P Yay Chocolate!!), but mentally. I've been overthinking at a pace that I'm pretty sure a Bullet Train couldn't keep up with (or something else really fast).

I've been worrying and thinking about so many things that my body is starting to react physically. So I kinda zenned (it's a word if I say so) in and tried to refocus. What's really bothering me?

Well, to start I think that it might have started by reading/listening to two inspirational books at the same time, both telling me to GET OUT THERE AND DO WHAT YOU DO BEST!!! MAKE ART!! ...yeah that's all well and good, but it's REALLY not that simple with a mental illness. Like at all! My body was screaming at me, but I'm of the stubborn variety (I could out-stubborn my parents even when I was 5), so I just kept schlepping away at it. Trying to organize/paint/draw/sew, and throw in a little financial worries in there and just exhaustion, things weren't going so hot.

Plus work was being a drag, so on top of all the things going on in my personal life, I was constantly on the edge of tears. Ugh... Just writing this is bringing up all those icky feelings. All of this, along with the wonders of mental illness, brought me to my knees. Something had to stop this swirling in my glass box of emotion:P

So I sat back (in the Sun at my Farmer's Market) and really thought about it. What do I really need to do?? What's REALLY the reason I'm sitting on the edge of a full blown panic attack??

Well, I came up with a whole list of To Do's/Wish Lists/You name it, it was probably on the list. That made me feel much better, because now I get to CROSS IT OFF THE LIST!!! YAY!!! But it also made me think a little deeper about my current Farmer's Market experience...

I don't think I'm in the right crowd for my wares... The market I'm currently at is incredibly rural, and the baking goes the fastest. Clothes/Accessories (except jewelry for some reason?) don't really seem to sell. Things like Norwex, Avon, Epicure, small knitting projects, blankets, etc. seem to go over really well... I have a lot of people come and look at my loom and go "Oh wow!! That's really cool!!", but they don't seem to be terribly interested in what I'm selling. I've decided that I'm going to:
1. Lower my prices for now to maybe help it catch on
2. Set up an Etsy market postey hastey
3. Try trade shows/craft shows in more artsy places over the winter and see how I like it

If Etsy takes off I might just say screw it to the whole Farmer's Markets and just stick with artsy Trade Shows and online sales. I think that's something that's really been bugging me a lot lately. And if the rain stops by tonight, I'm going to start taking pictures of what I've done so far!! There!! It's decided!! I'll do it in my riverstone backyard in front of one of my old elm trees!!

I've reworked things a few times, but I think that this might be my biggest reworking yet. We'll see how the summer goes!!

Ciao for now!!

The Big Four Oh!!!

Holy Moly!! When I started this blog I had no idea I'd be hitting 40 posts!! This is exciting!!!

Content though... Hmm... I guess I could reminisce about previous posts I've done... But I did that on the magical "Where has the time gone?" post. So what shall I do today...

 

Well, my plan here is to talk about my creativity of the weekend!! Since I live a way up here in Canada, I had last Friday off for Canada Day!! aka LONG WEEKEND!!!!! So, what have I been up to? Well, I think the better questions is what HAVEN'T I been up to!

 

Friday, Canada Day, my MLHS (Manitoba Living History Society if you don't do acronyms:P) was doing a demo/set up at a small museum in the city called Ross House. SUPER COOL!! This is one of the original Red River Settlement houses/museums that I had yet to go to, so I was super pumped, even if it was in a... Let's say less than reputable part of town? Didn't realize how bad a part until I got there, but we'll stick with the good, with this being the 40th post and all!!

 

Anyways, after a mild panic attack at being one of the first group there and not knowing exactly what was going on, I settled under a nice old tree and started to set up my Inkle Loom. Now, I couldn't weave with any of the super amazing yarn that I'd bought last weekend (pretty sure they didn't have fluorescent pink acrylic yarn in 1819), but I just did some more white & red for Canada Day. Worst comes to worst I just use it as part of my weaving demo in the future (it's actual wool). Other than socializing and listening to bagpipes for the next couple of hours, nothing really good came of that (did I mention NOT a good part of town?).

 

So, Ross House. I don't know the whole history of it, but I do know that it was Western Canada's first Post Office, and it was built in typical Red River Settler style. I mean you could still see the axe marks on the outer walls from where they were shaping the trees. Super cool right?! And some of the write-ups inside were also pretty cool. Would I go back? There's a possibility of no (NOT a good part of town), but it was an experience.

 

The next two days I was supposed to go and sit and weave at the 50th Annual Highland Games in Manitoba, but I was feeling a bit under the weather and didn't really think that a day of sitting in the Sun (NO trees or shade of any kind) would really help the situation. So Saturday I focused on more cleaning up in the house, and spent some quality time with our paper shredder (we had cable bills from this time last year... UGH!!). I also did a run by the Salvation Army Thrift Store and donated a whole bunch of my old school books and various other heavy as HELL things on Saturday. I think I may have broken something at the bottom of the donation bin with my textbooks and empty binders, but OH WELL!!! I'm helping the less fortunate with the added bonus of getting rid of a bunch of crap that's been sitting around in my house for the last... 4ish years?? Oh and I overflowed my recycling bin again:P Take that!!

 

Sunday was pretty much the same in regards of cleaning with one amazing added bonus... I FINISHED MY HOME-MADE WHITEBOARD/EARRING HOLDER!!! On Saturday (forgot that part), I found my old bathroom window (we re-did all our windows this Spring), cleaned it all up, and went on a cruise to go find some spray paint, steel wool, and various other stuff needed to make my ugly old bathroom window fit into my new sanctuary. Then I got busy sorting through the small forest of old papers and whatnot everywhere in our house (and I mean EVERYWHERE, it was like a treasure hunt), then played with our paper shredder. Hence filled up recycle bin.

 

Anyways, back to my creation!! It's amazing!! Half of it is a pane of glass (like oldschool glass) and the other half is screen. So, my plan was to paint the border and hang all my earrings (all 5 pairs:P) from the screen side, and then spray paint the back of the glass a light colour (I went with Ivory) so that I could use it as a white board (and maybe stick some of my power words up there:P). This was my first excursion with spray paint, and I have to say I did pretty good. There may or may not have been some mild guidance from my hubby, but I actually did all the work:D That was VERY exciting for me!! The border is like a sky blue, but a little brighter? I dunno, there's a pic of it hung up below (I'm writing this on lunch, but won't post until I have a pic of it:)).

 

I've also made some plans for when I can FINALLY paint my whole room (it's kind of a sickly yellow right now:()!! The actual walls are going to be Ivory (same shade as my white board), and the trim is all going to be the matching (or close to matching) colour of my screen thingy:D I'm so excited!!!

 

That won't be for a while tho, so I'm still trying to work out a colour scheme for everything else that I'm planning on putting in there. I'm thinking I'm going to use some Chalk Paint for my wardrobe/closet thingy and MAYBE drawers and desk (these were both my hubby's from WAY before we met, so I have to tread lightly here:P). But if not no biggie, I'm just excited to have my own space for the first time pretty much ever (came from a family of 6).

 

Anyways!!! This is all super exciting for me! I got to try spray paint, I'm going to get to try chalk paint, and I've managed to find floor space in my house that I haven't seen probably since shortly after we moved in!! The garage may be a bit messy (lots of random boxes I wasn't allowed to throw out...), but that's not my domain so who gives a bibble?!?

 

I'm also still working on all the amazing stuff that I mentioned in my last post!! I've been researching (thank you Youtube!!) a bunch of outdoorsy stuff, as well as FINALLY gotten my hubby to agree to letting me and my biggle (my 70lb dog Leica) go for a hike through Birds Hill Park. Not what I had in mind, but it works for now!!! I've also been looking into Etsy, and now all I really need are some good pictures of my works!! For that I need models... With long hair... Hmm... Maybe it's a good thing that I come from a big family:P Free labour!!!

 

TTFN, ta ta for now!!!

Taking Life by the Horns!

Have you ever experienced a soul crushing boredom? Like you feel like your life is on hold for one reason or another, and all you do is the exact same thing every day?

Yeah... This is completely me right now. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, and creativity is definitely an outlet for me, but I can't help but notice that all of my sketches lately have been about wandering off and having an adventure.

As a kid I was an avid reader of JRR Tolkien. I mean AVID!! I read The Hobbit and The LOTR so many times I lost count (it's WELL over 10). When I was a kid I didn't see why I enjoyed them, as I could have adventures every day. I could go out my door and disappear (I grew up on a LARGE farm). I had, relatively speaking, no responsibilities.

Now, as an adult, I look back on those books and seem to be waiting for my hoard of dwarves to come banging at my door, or for one of my crazy Uncle's to give me a ring that would require a llooonnnggg journey far away from here... Just waiting... Waiting... Like a caged bird... Waiting...

Well you know what?! I'M TIRED OF WAITING!!!! WAITING IS FOR THE WEAK AND I'M DONE!!! So you know what?!? This is a public statement to the internet!!! I'M NOT WAITING ANYMORE!!! I'm getting a business license for my little adventure at the farmers market!! I'm looking into winter Farmer's Markets!!! AND!!! I'M MAKING AN ETSY SHOP!!! That's right!!! AND I'M MAKING A WEBSITE!!! Not just mooching off google anymore, but my own legit website!!

I started listening (because I can't read a book at work I listen to them) to "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks, and he talks about the upper limit (look into it, it's a thing!). Well I've been upper-limiting the crap out of myself and I'm DONE!!! And not only in my business life, but in my personal life too!!

I'm KonMari-ing the hell out of my house this weekend (even though I'm already insanely busy) and getting all my crap from my in-laws house and I'm putting it in my room at home and organizing it and probably donating most of it, because man, do I have a LOT of crap!! And I'm GOING TO BE AN ADVENTURE GUIDE!!!!! If I can't do it in the mountains, then BY GOD I'm going to do it in Manitoba, the province where dreams go to die (mine do anyways).

My hubby is an outdoorsman (he's been there, done that, done pretty much everything I'm now interested in), BUT he hurt his shoulder and can't do much right now. Like much at all. And he's worried that I'll get hurt if I go out to the Canadian Shield and go on a DAY HIKE!! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT!!!! I WANT THIS!!! So I'll even start smaller!! I'll walk down the freaking boring-ass trails at Birds Hill Park!! Can't get much safer than that!! It's pretty much freaking paved!!!!

So I'll start with that!! Then when I prove that I won't trip over my own feet and fall to my untimely death (but what a way to go right?!?), I'll move up to something else equally boring and safe, and I'll keep on going until I've proven myself to the rest of the freaking world, I'm going to go on the whole crap-in-the-bush overnighter because that's what I want!! And I do what I want when I want. GRR!!!

...sorry about that... But really, what I was getting at was basically life is short! Do what you want! If you can't jump in head first right off the high-dive, then maybe try wading in. This burns me to the very core, because it's not my way, but you know what, if it's what you truly want, why not give it a try. Why not do the dinky ass little trails and work your way up to the awesome, climb a mountain in the middle of no-where is that actually a trail or just a part in the trees trail!!

Whatever it is, get uncomfortable!! Get to it!!