Taking a Step Back

Have you ever smushed your face so close to your paper or canvas or whatever, just focusing on one small detail? Ever had complete tunnel vision? This seems to be how I'm living my life, and it's VERY stressful! How can you see the world around you if you're only looking in one spot?

Sometimes it's better to take a big step back and just look at what's going on. Look at the bigger picture as it were... It's FRICKIN HARD!!!!! Take it from someone who is "focused" (it might not look like it from the outside), forcing yourself to take a BIG step back sucks!! I'm a doer, not a waiter. I HATE waiting!! I'm the type (as you can probably see now) who just blunders through no matter what, even if I'm not even enjoying it any more. Then I start to hate things, then I quit. Hence the taking the step back.

Taking a step back to think... Thinking is not my friend at the moment... Blundering is my forte. But I'm forcing the inhale and stepping back. What have I found? I'm tired of blundering... It's very exhausting... It's living by someone else's rules. Someone else'd deadlines. Putting undue pressure on myself to JUST FINISH, to make money, to make everything IMMACULATE!! 

...it's not possible! Perfection is a thing of the imagination. Perfection is the killer of dreams. Perfection is the illusion that causes nervous breakdowns, tears, panic attacks, depression, and quitting prematurely. It's an unreal standard that we set ourselves to, usually because we think that other people are making things perfectly (thank you Instagram and Social Media), so if we can't do it perfect we suck. We're useless. Even though we're just starting out and the person we're comparing ourselves to has been doing the same thing for a LONG TIME. It's not an easy pill to swallow.

As much as I love learning new things, I HATE learning new things because it shows that I'm not the best at something. It's like a thirst. An unquenchable thirst. Knowledge may be power, but if you're a competitive perfectionist, it kinda ends up burning you in the end. Brutal.

But I digress!! So now I'm taking a step back. I've been slowly moving in a backwards over the last little while, trying to see the forest through the trees. Inhale, exhale, one step at a time. It's hard, but apparently worth doing (I'm still getting there:P). Goooood times:P I guess my point is to breathe. Just take a step back and breathe. Enjoy life and see the forest!!

C'iao for now!!

And a mountain picture, just because:)