Taking a Step Back

Have you ever smushed your face so close to your paper or canvas or whatever, just focusing on one small detail? Ever had complete tunnel vision? This seems to be how I'm living my life, and it's VERY stressful! How can you see the world around you if you're only looking in one spot?

Sometimes it's better to take a big step back and just look at what's going on. Look at the bigger picture as it were... It's FRICKIN HARD!!!!! Take it from someone who is "focused" (it might not look like it from the outside), forcing yourself to take a BIG step back sucks!! I'm a doer, not a waiter. I HATE waiting!! I'm the type (as you can probably see now) who just blunders through no matter what, even if I'm not even enjoying it any more. Then I start to hate things, then I quit. Hence the taking the step back.

Taking a step back to think... Thinking is not my friend at the moment... Blundering is my forte. But I'm forcing the inhale and stepping back. What have I found? I'm tired of blundering... It's very exhausting... It's living by someone else's rules. Someone else'd deadlines. Putting undue pressure on myself to JUST FINISH, to make money, to make everything IMMACULATE!! 

...it's not possible! Perfection is a thing of the imagination. Perfection is the killer of dreams. Perfection is the illusion that causes nervous breakdowns, tears, panic attacks, depression, and quitting prematurely. It's an unreal standard that we set ourselves to, usually because we think that other people are making things perfectly (thank you Instagram and Social Media), so if we can't do it perfect we suck. We're useless. Even though we're just starting out and the person we're comparing ourselves to has been doing the same thing for a LONG TIME. It's not an easy pill to swallow.

As much as I love learning new things, I HATE learning new things because it shows that I'm not the best at something. It's like a thirst. An unquenchable thirst. Knowledge may be power, but if you're a competitive perfectionist, it kinda ends up burning you in the end. Brutal.

But I digress!! So now I'm taking a step back. I've been slowly moving in a backwards over the last little while, trying to see the forest through the trees. Inhale, exhale, one step at a time. It's hard, but apparently worth doing (I'm still getting there:P). Goooood times:P I guess my point is to breathe. Just take a step back and breathe. Enjoy life and see the forest!!

C'iao for now!!

And a mountain picture, just because:)

Spring?? Where did you go??

I walked to work this morning in a parka, toque and mitts... It's April... Not that this is uncommon in the great frozen North, but still. Come on, enough already!

Alright, rant done moving into actual content now :)

So, I've been kind of away from the whole Social Media from a couple of days now, been feeling kinda bummed out and stressed. Why? Well, I kind of figured it out yesterday when I was telling a friend how tired I am. She told me that she hardly slept last night, and I agreed yes, I don't sleep super great. Then I started adding up all of the things I'm currently doing/just finished/are coming up... It was exhausting just writing it! Anyways, here they are in their glory:

• Marketing Director for the Manitoba Animal Health Technologists Association Board (having to meet multiple deadlines in the next couple weeks)
• Company Softball team
• Active Member of the Manitoba Living Historical Society
• Just finished a very intensive Certified Insurance Professional course
• Filling in applications and making content for Farmer's Markets for this summer (most are due by 3/30/16)
• Doing an application for an Artist Mentoring Program
• Just applied for a new position at work

Whew... Oh and plus trying to have a life at home too with my hubby and dogs... Wow... So yeah, needless to say I'm going to be making up a to do list today with deadlines for everything!

Anyways, on the brighter side of life, I might be having a few guest posts in the next little while on here! I'm super excited about that! I'll also probably (hopefully) be doing some guest posts on some other blogs as well hoping to get a lil foot traffic around here, and just because I love to write.

Speaking of writing, the first Letter to the Editor I submitted to a big local paper has been PUBLISHED!!!!! Mine is the first letter in the link. Operation Bombard Local Papers with Letters to the Editor until they give me a Job is well underway!! Yay!! On the writing side of things, I'm also starting to brainstorm ideas for a literary non-fiction (writing in 3rd person, not super great at that) to submit to another magazine competition. It's kind of ironic that I was so worried about how I would write two short fictions, when now I'm having even more trouble writing a non-fiction. But hey, once I start things kind of just write themselves.

I'm also working on my weaving. I'm now on creation #3 and loving every minute of it! I REALLY need to get some new and fun yarn though... I need more vibrant colours and different textures for my weavables!!

Well, that's all for now!! Things are looking up for the moment, even though it's cold as sin outside!!

 

PS - This is what I got from Starbucks today to warm up! Yay for winning work draws!! 

Never Wear a White Shirt with a Muffin Top

Mmm... Muffins... Slept in today and grabbed what I thought were my normal fitting pants and a nice white shirt. NOT!! They are, in fact, my skinny pants and have had me muffin toppin since lunch time😜

The point of this? Absolutely nothing, just needed to get it off my chest😜 Anyways, this past weekend I went to a Manitoba Living Historical Society Baggage meet, and was introduced to the amazing world of weaving!

I'm so excited!! I also have big plans to learn how to weave wool as well. Business ideas anyone? My entrepreneurial dreams have re-errupted into something huge!!

My big plans at this point are to actually learn how to use my Inkle Loom (yay for google), and then the sky's the limit!! Eventually I want to do the whole "from sheep to cloth" type thing, but for this summer I'm thinking of just starting with all my woven creations. There's a long way to go, but now at least there's a path again.

Plus, with all my historical connections and whatnot, I can do it completely old-fashioned. With all natural dyes for the wool, grassfed sheep, and all that other wholesome stuff everyone seems to love these days.

So excited!!! Yay for my new loom!!
...now I just need a business name...